Death by a Rental Balcony? No Thanks.

Safe to say, a worse fate than not landing the rental apartment with the balcony is to land the rental with the balcony and then fall off. It doesn't happen often in New York City, the plummeting of humans from the jutted, open-air perks of hi-rise residential buildings. But when it does, as it did on March 14th, the morning Connor Donohue fell to his death from his apartment's 24th-floor balcony (possibly on account of a dilapidated railing), we like to think of other things to sink cash in that'll make our apartments more appealing.

Granted, the building that Donohue chose to reside in (above) has a history of troublesome encounters with gravity...
In 2007, a complaint was filed with the Department of Buildings against the 330 East 39th Street property regarding an elevator that dropped one story before the elevator's automatic break reacted. Still, we have an unsettling feeling that balcony accidents can happen in any building (especially where the property owners fail to inspect outdoor spaces.) And since Manhattan rentals can run a tenant upwards of an additional $600/month in rent for this amenity, we'd rather be alive and spend that money on the following:
  • DJ lessons - $300 for six-week beginner course; Scratch DJ Academy: Learning how to professionally handle music can turn the dinner parties and summer night fetes at our place into anticipated events. We'd buy turn tables for some in-house mash-up fun. They'll add hipster flair to our decor. We'll know phrases like "dropping on the one." We'll make the best iPod playlists. Our friends will call us Samantha Ronson.
  • Galvanized Storage Cubes - $49 per cube, Container Store: For those of us who would chose chic, space-saving storage over a balcony because our apartments didn't come with bookcases or a wine cellar or DVD storage components. We'll stack these modular cubes as high as our ceiling will allow and suddenly we'll have a fine facility for hoarding. Adding accessories like X dividers for wine storage or perforated doors cost a little bit extra, but hey, we can buy a few cubes each month since we don't have that dangerous balcony to pay for.
  • Cable TV bundle with all of the fixin's - $99 and up, Time Warner: Time Warner's digital cable + high-speed internet + phone service package is $99 for new subscribers, $149 for current customers in New York. You know how people appreciate a balcony because of the view? Well we can tack on a premium channel bundle (HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, Starz) for an additional $33 or more and watch Dexter, a privilege that many New Yorkers can not claim.

Look for your next New York apartment -- sans balcony -- in our
Manhattan apartment rental listings.

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