We thought New York listings were bad, but this San Francisco Craigslist ad has taken "annoying" to a whole new unprecedented level. We can understand vegetarians seeking non-meat-eating roommates (though that's still annoying). We can understand the call for "young professionals" to share space with. Heck, we can even give a pass to offering free rent to individuals who can help whip you into shape. But writing an entire short story on Craigslist describing -- in excruciating detail -- the daily actions and activities of your "perfect roommate"? We're cringing already.
Winning descriptions from this Craigslist roommate ad include: "It's time to shower and you head into the bathroom. Smiling and sighing to yourself as you look in the mirror, you whisper, "Today is going to be a beautiful day!" That's just like you. Always so positive."
Then there's: "You've brushed your hair and your teeth, and now it is time to catch the bus. Getting to work will be a breeze! You wave to Fred across the street, and walk over to Piccino's for a quick cappuccino before heading to the bus stop."
Here's the clincher: "[Craigslist poster] Marina asks if you would like to taste some of the kale smoothie she just made ... it is surprisingly delicious. You sip the delicious smoothie and look out onto the garden where a hummingbird is gracefully sipping it's [sic] own breakfast from a flower."
Listen, Mister Rogers, this is some creepy, axe-murderer stuff! If you're advertising for roommates who whisper to themselves in the mirror, among other totally not-cute things, you're just looking for some company in the asylum. We will warn potential roomies now: Living there is nearly guaranteed to not be a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
UPDATE -- 5:55 p.m. -- San Francisco blog UPROXX said it spoke to a source close to the listing who said the author "meant it to be more than a little bit sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek." Well, we certainly hope so!
Thanks to our pals at Curbed for this Listing Fail.
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